My boyfriend, Brian, and I had a magical morning recently. Nothing particularly amazing happened, just lovely circumstances that lined up, that I was thankfully aware of enough to appreciate.
It started with a rare weekday where both Brian and I had the morning free. He asked if I wanted to go for a walk and nothing sounded more wonderful. A little exercise and quality time with my love, that’s a good morning for me!
I quickly prepared for our outing. The mornings have been cold in LA recently, so I bundled up, then off we went.
Though it was chilly, it was a beautiful morning. The sky was an amazingly deep, clear blue, and the air was unusually clean and crisp. We chatted about nothing important, but enjoyed the conversation immensely. Brian knew we’d be passing by a bakery and suggested we stop in for coffee. When we got there and saw the breakfast menu, we decided to stay and grab a bite.
We had tasty omelets and perfect potatoes. We then made our way back home with more conversation and handholding. I revel in moments like these. Unplanned, connected, casual, nothing to do but enjoy time spent.
Now let me tell you what I looked like on this morning adventure… I had just gotten out of bed before our walk, so my hair was thrown up in a messy pony tail. I recently tried a new face serum that has not agreed with my skin, so my face was splotchy with redness. For warmth I put on my favorite 3-sizes-too-big ugly grey sweatshirt. I hate cold ears, so I donned a headband you’d be more likely to see on the ski slopes of Colorado than the streets of LA. Yoga pants and old, dirty sneakers completed my look. To put it politely, I looked silly.
How much did my appearance affect my magical morning? 0%
In fact, I was entirely unaware of what I looked like until we got home and I caught a glimpse of myself in the bedroom mirror. Did I cringe at the thought of having gone out in public like that? Nope. I laughed.
I’m not telling you this to say that I never care about how I look. I’m telling you this because if this had been a few years ago, I never would have let myself have that beautiful morning. I would have been entirely too self conscious about how I looked back then. For many years I let my face full of acne keep me from doing a lot of things.
Even after I healed my acne, I remember still being very self conscious... If I were still in that headspace, I would have let my messy hair, or splotchy skin tone, or lack of makeup prevent me from leaving the house. I couldn't go anywhere without getting “done up” first. My old way of thinking would have required neatly combed hair, a necessary and appropriate application of foundation, and at least 20 minutes of trying to find clothes that were warm but equally cute. At which point my boyfriend would have grown impatient and went on the walk with out me!
I laughed when I saw myself in the mirror because I recognized how far I’ve come. I’ve made the effort to change my way of thinking, to focus on what I want from life, rather than worry about what I need to look like to experience it. When I think back, I know I missed out on dozens, if not hundreds of simple but magical moments like the morning I had with my boyfriend, all because I didn’t think I looked good enough to leave the house.
What I realize now is that life isn’t going to wait for you to look your best, because it doesn't care!
I’m telling you this because I want you to know that how you look does not affect your life, unless you let it. The amount of happiness, joy, fun and magic you get to experience has nothing to do with your acne, your hair, your weight, shape or size – unless you’ve decided it does.
The bad news is that until you decide something different, until you realize that your appearance just doesn’t matter that much, there is always going to be some imperfection or flaw that you think you need to fix before you can really enjoy yourself.
The good news is that all of that is just a habit. You’re in the habit of looking for flaws and thinking they matter, just like I was. But any habit can be changed. You can live life to the fullest regardless of what you look like. Don't get me wrong, it's fine to want to look your best too, just don't let that overshadow living your life. You can be immensely happy right now, instead of waiting for something to be perfect first. All you have to do is change your habits.
If you’d like to feel more carefree and spend less time and energy focusing “flaws”, if you’d like to start living a fuller life and find out what it takes to look and feel healthy, then let's talk! I’m filling my calendar with complimentary conversations to help women just like you start living life from a place of confidence and radiance.
Believe me, if I can break the habit of worrying about how I look, any one can. I used to be the girl that never left the house without showering, blow drying and styling her hair, putting on her makeup and wearing a good outfit. Now, if life says let’s have an adventure at 7am, I’m in – bad hair, ugly sweatshirt and all!
Click here if you want to experience this perspective for yourself.
I look forward to helping you find a new perspective. Reply ASAP before my calendar fills up!
Much love to you,
Image courtesy of blackzheep / freedigitalphotos.net